Lara Laban, Bali and New Zealand
Photography: trinacaryphotography.com // @trinacaryphotography
Mother: @laurabeverleyy // @laurahealing_ // @laurathelabel // laurahealing.com
We are thrilled to introduce you to Laura Laban, born in New Zealand and raised between Hong Kong and New Zealand, she currently resides in Bali with her Indonesian husband. Together, they serve as healers, offering their profound knowledge and healing practices to those seeking guidance. In this exclusive interview, Laura takes us on a captivating journey through her experiences of pregnancy, birth, and postpartum, beautifully intertwining the cultural traditions of New Zealand and Bali. From embracing the holistic approach to prenatal care and exploring the profound beliefs surrounding newborns in Bali to the joyous rituals that celebrate the arrival of new life, Laura shares the transformative power of motherhood in both the Kiwi and Balinese cultures.
Interview dated April 2023
Introduction
Can you tell us a bit about yourself and your background, including how you started doing healing work and the clothing line?
My name is Laura, I am from New Zealand and was born in Hong Kong so I grew up in both places. I have a background in acting and photography.
Healing others started after trying to get the bottom of my own ongoing issues. Around five years ago I met my soul mate and now husband Jimmy. My whole life changed when we met. He was a healer, and he told me the day we met that I am the same as him. At that time, I didn’t want to believe it. I went through an extensive cleansing process to unblock and let go of what was stuck. And in the process, began to accept who I am. Over time, all the things I had issues with physically and mentally automatically took care of themselves, and literally one day i woke up and could heal others.
Soon after, we started offering healing together as a business.
Our clothing label www.laurathelabel.com started around the same time as a side hustle to help us build a healing centre. It is the perfect expression for my creative side and adapts as our life changes. I design and manage, but I have two dressmakers, Ketut and Putu Rini, so the credit for craftsmanship goes to them.
Now more than ever, I am grateful I listened to my heart all those years ago (and not the judgements from myself or others). It all lead to our son Jack-Dean!
What drew you to Bali and can you share more about the healing center that you are building there?
Jimmy is from Indonesia and Bali was already his home. I spent years travelling back and forth before deciding to make it my home too.
We see a lot of people from all over the world, and weekly healing sessions via distance for most people is enough. However, a lot of people need deeper treatment. We bought land and started building our home and healing centre a few years ago. We built three rooms and are currently in the process of adding on two more. It’s a place for people from around the world to come and stay as long as they need for their individual treatment — be it a physical, mental or spiritual / life path reason. It is also a place people in Bali can come to for a session, a cuppa and a chat.
In Bali many years ago, the king would pay a mankgu to heal the public for free. In this day-in-age we have to charge for the centre to run and grow, however, for locals we accept ‘by donation’ only. Some people bring food, others give what they can to help with the build such as materials or even their time.
Healing begins when people enter, we can’t switch it on and off. Although we live here, we don’t do social visits just for the sake of it. When you come, more happens, so we have to make it clear it is healing centre.
Pregnancy
Can you share about your pregnancy experience and the type of prenatal care that you received throughout?
My whole pregnancy was in Bali, up until 33 and a half weeks, then we travelled to New Zealand. It was a last minute decision to travel but the main reason was we wanted my family to be involved… JD is my first baby and the first grandchild / great grandchild. I think the whole experience brought us all closer together and I loved sharing it with them.
In Bali we would visit Bumi Sehat monthly for general checkups with the midwives there. And when it came time for the scans we went to Kasih Medika, a small clinic in Denpasar which came recommended by a friend of mine.
The rest of the time was all about resting (and not overheating in the peak of the day)! It was rainy season towards the end which I loved. I found the first trimester with nausea was really forcing me to listen to my body more than ever before. The second trimester came with physical pain so I rested more. And the third trimester I loved the most. We actually got married when JD was halfway cooked which made my pregnancy even more memorable.
Were there any specific physical or psychological measures you took to prepare for birth?
I was overwhelmed at the beginning whenever I thought about the birth. So what helped me was only asking questions as I needed to know them. At about 8 months I was ready to think about the birth itself. Before that I just took the pregnancy day by day and said thank you every day for that gift. Many couples come to Jimmy and I that struggle to get pregnant, and didn’t want to take anything about it for granted.
Physically, I used to be a night owl but found I naturally started to get up earlier and earlier as the months went on. I loved waking up to a warm chai and doing some stretching and strengthening (youtube was great for prenatal exercises to prepare for the birth).
Birth
Could you tell us more about the birth culture in New Zealand and where you gave birth, as well as how common that choice is in your experience?
I choose to go with a midwife as my LMC in New Zealand. My midwife Tilly doesn’t advertise, she just operates by word-of-mouth and I had a friend who recommended her from her own birth. She was very informative and pro natural birth. All about letting the baby tell you when they’re ready to come into the world, and not rushing the labour. And at the same time, will not muck around if medical intervention is needed.
My choice to not go to hospital (unless an emergency) is not actually as common these days.
I was open to birthing at home but my family lives on a farm about 45mins out of the city. So I decided on Birthcare in Parnell for the birth in order to be close to a hospital if needed.
From your observations, how would you describe the general attitudes towards birth where you are based - more relaxed or medicalized, for example?
Observations from my experience are that globally there so much fear around birth — maybe from Hollywood movies, or probably because the whole process of pregnancy and birth is not talked about when we are growing up. I remember being taught how to prevent a pregnancy at school, then that’s it.
I was so thankful to have women around me who had given birth fairly recently whom I reached out to. Other mums are so helpful, because they were in the same unknown boat too. You really don’t know what you are in for until the body begins to change, then you want to know ‘is this normal’ or ‘what do I need to prepare for this next stage’ etc.
Did you stay at one of the birth centers following birth and if so, can you share more about your experience?
I did. I birthed in the birthing room downstairs at 4.15am with my midwife, mum and husband, and at about 7am Jimmy and I were transferred into a room with our baby. That was so great not having to go far! There, we received some really useful help with breastfeeding (colostrum still at that point). Also with positions for burping baby as JD has a lot of mucus after a water birth. We were looked after well medically too. By the 2nd day we started to feel it was time to go — we wanted privacy and I had a lot of back pain (from a posterior labour) but couldn’t move around the room freely with a rollaway bed for Jimmy taking up the floor space.
Postpartum
In what ways, if any, did you feel supported in your recovery after birth?
Meals, snacks, teas from family and friends were the best gift. Something so simple means so much when you are recovering and glued to the couch breastfeeding. I swear I said thank you out loud so many times when eating something yummy I could just grab and not prepare.
My whole family — they were so welcoming of JD, and at the same respected when I needed space.
As part of my Midwifes care, she visited me at home weekly for 6 weeks and even put me into a whatsapp group with other mummy’s who she worked with that had given birth recently. And per her suggestion, I’ve been adding drops of arnica and hypericum to water which has helped me recover physically.
Still though, this time is filled with SO much rapid change that no one can prepare you for it all. There was a lot of learning by experience and wondering ‘why didn’t I know this could happen?!’.
How old was your baby when you returned to Bali?
2 and a half months! He was so good on the plane. It was the heat in Bali that was a big adjustment for him.
Are there any specific practices or traditions for postpartum in Bali that you will be following or you would like to share?
Balinese massage as often as possible! Our friend Dewi comes to our house and even gave JD a baby massage as she noticed some muscles were tight. She said from 6months, baby massages are a thing here.
I have found when men visit, they are very respectful and give privacy if if they see I am breastfeeding, where as women are so pleasantly casual and some have even come right up to me and unlatched the baby to say hello to him! Women here are used to supporting other women at this time and it shows in every way.
In Bali the main religion is Balinese Hinduism, but it is a very accepting place of all religions. There are ceremonies including one at 12 days and one at six months to cut the babies hair as a form of purification from their past life. Then more ceremonies throughout childhood, puberty and adulthood. for those that are Hindu. My husband is not Hindu so we don’t do that ceremony.
The Balinese believe that newborns are considered holy and still close to the sacred realm from where they came. Aligned with the Balinese belief in reincarnation, the newborn is viewed as the rebirth of one of their own ancestors returning to Earth. What my husband did do was not cut his beard for the whole 9 months I was pregnant, a tradition for men in Bali to support the natural completion of growth and the belief in reincarnation. The first thing our son did when he was placed on Jimmy for skin to skin time was grab the beard... and our midwife actually cut it off in the room then and there!!
Indonesia / New Zealand
What is something you particularly enjoy about motherhood in Bali, whether it be the environment, culture, or something else entirely
In general life is slower here, even in the main parts of the city with traffic, people seem to flow with it and not fight it so much. We live outside of the touristy spots and I actually feel like I am on holiday in our little home. Work happens in nap times or at night so rest of the time is spent with baby which my life leading up to now prepared me for. I love Indonesian food, and ALL the fruits, and the strong ginger tea. So for pregnancy and breastfeeding my insides have been very content.
If you could share one insight about your country’s approach to pregnancy, birth, and motherhood with the rest of the world, what would it be? - happy for you to share NZ or Bali or both!
It seems both Bali and New Zealand are similar with the choices of care — you can choose natural or you can choose a more medical approach. That choice is important, it really is up to each mother (and of course what happens on the day beyond our control). Government funded care in New Zealand is amazing — that already takes a huge load off!
In terms of motherhood — the attitude in Bali is that being a mother and all its stages is a blessing, not at all a chore! It is relieving to me because it is the truth that they are a blessing. I have nannied a lot over the years and I have seen a wide variety of ways to live and parent. All I know is that I don’t want other life stresses to ever get in the way of my child. Jimmy and talked about this long before JD came into existence… that everything we do, being the best we can be, buying land, building a home and a healing centre so we can do our job… is all for our children. When we die, our possessions as well as everything they have seen us do and create with our actions... goes to our children. Yes we can all do more as humans… but why do we do it? Who for if not for our children?
Based on your experiences thus far, what is one piece of advice you would like to offer to other mothers out there?
For the Birth — remember it is a natural pain not a pain that is inflicted. Our bodies are designed to handle it. It is like nothing else but you will be stronger after.
Day to day as a Mother — everything will soon be a memory, the good days and the hard days. Roll with it… if something is not working, keep trying new things rather than getting frustrated (my lesson today as I write this)!