Line Charles, UK
Photography by Trina Cary Photography
Line Charles, mother of two, born and raised in Norway, shares her story of raising her two sons in London, United Kingdom.
Introduction
Can you share a little background on yourself?
My name is Line (pronounced Lee’nē in Norwegian or Lina in Thai). I’m 27 and live in London with my wife, two little boys, and our dog. I’m currently on maternity leave, but normally, I work full-time at a travel print magazine, and I run YUMMA, a children’s clothing brand and online store.
I was born and raised in Oslo, Norway, with the exception of living in Thailand for a year with my mother’s family at the age of five. I moved to London in 2015 and have finally found a place to settle down after having also previously lived in Shanghai, China and Bali, Indonesia.
What was your upbringing like?
My Scandinavian upbringing is filled with memories outdoors, and it’s taught me to love nature in any weather - although I’m not sure if I’ll ever get used to the amount of rain here in London. I remember during school lunch at primary school in Norway we were “forced” to spend our lunch break outside regardless of the weather (even with the temperature as low as -19 degrees), so there’s no excuse to not spend time outside in London as it rarely drops down to that temperature here.
Has your background and any cultural experiences from your childhood influenced your experience of pregnancy, birth, and motherhood?
I’ve tried to bring my firstborn outdoors as much as possible for fresh air as I believe that love for nature is one of the greatest gifts one can ever have. I hope to do that for my second son as well. Luckily, in London, we live next to a big park and the river, so despite living in such a big city, we feel like we have nature around us. My childhood home in Norway is located on top of a mountain and growing up the forest was literally my playground. I remember my dad always used to take me out camping in a tent when I was young and I know that he can’t wait to take my boys out as well and make little vikings out of them.
Everything motherhood-related, including pregnancy and birth, is celebrated in Norway. We’re proud and we take motherhood quite seriously.
Are there any traditions from your childhood that you’ve carried on with your own children?
Growing up, we’d go to our family cottage on a small Norwegian island every year, to go fishing on our boat, swim in the ocean, and play board games. I hope I get to do this with my boys and family every summer like I did with my own father. Many of my happiest childhood memories are at that cabin. We also celebrate Norwegian Christmas ‘Jul’ every year, which falls on the day before Christmas Day here in the UK.
My mother also used to bring me to Thailand every summer and I want to try and bring my children over every other year. It’s truly like a second home to me and I want my boys to feel connected to their roots. They call Thailand the ‘Land of Smiles’. The people, culture and language have brought me so much joy, and if I’m able to give my own boys a handful of what my mother gave me, I would like to think that I’ve given them something to be grateful for - more than just one way to see and live life, and something to always remember their grandmother by.
You graduated with a law degree during motherhood! Can you share a little bit about this experience?
I was pregnant with my firstborn during my second year of law school. I had three months at home with my newborn son during the summer break before I went back to school to finish my final year, while also raising and breastfeeding my son. I arranged my schedule/modules so that I wouldn’t have to go in every day, and if ever needed, I could always catch up online. My mother-in-law would watch my son one to two times a week when I had to go onto campus, and those few hours I attended lectures I truly appreciated because I would have some alone time. Some time to exist as just me. I think that, in many ways, kept me sane and less overwhelmed because your world truly does get turned upside down when you first become a mother. You don’t know what to expect before you’re living in it.
“Your world truly does get turned upside down when you first become a mother. You don’t know what to expect before you’re living in it.”
In my eyes, I felt like a young mother because I always imagined I’d have children after the age of 30, and not when I was 23. However, I’ve really enjoyed being a young mother and discovering myself. Instead of feeling lost at university, I felt that I made the most out of my time there and spent every hour effectively. I was forced to do so in order to get through and pass my final exams. Furthermore, I was more motivated than ever to stay focused and learn.
I remember being late for my dissertation with my mentor within my chosen field (Intellectual Property Law and Human Rights, writing about the rights for cultures and the indigenous peoples’ traditional cultural expressions). He ignored me the first ten to fifteen minutes and had me wait until he had finished his email, as I had of course wasted his time, but after speaking I was honest with him - telling him that the reason I was late was because I had to breastfeed my child who was now waiting in the car outside for me with my partner. My mentor was very strict and a little terrifying, but as soon as I told him my story, he then shared his own story about being a new parent and first-time father at university. His face softened immediately. It’s beautiful to connect over children as they are such a source of light, joy and of course, sleep deprivation (a great talking point and way to relate). Not to mention, if you weren’t the person to run late before having children, you will be now!
I look back at this experience and would not have done it any other way. I saw the fear in my parents’ eyes when I told them I was pregnant, but I got through it and can look back at that time in my life with such pride! I honestly think having children during law school gave me the discipline I needed to manage my time effectively and graduate with a first on my dissertation, because I wasn’t only doing it for myself, but for my son as well.
You’re the founder and designer of Yumma Store. What inspired you to start this beautiful shop for parents and children?
I’ve always loved being creative, and motherhood inspired me even more to do something outside of my comfort zone. It gave me the confidence to start something on my own, which I’d wanted to do for some time.
Yumma developed from an idea to something concrete during my first year of motherhood, merging the love I had for my son(s) and interest in preserving Mother Earth for our children. Our signature kimonos were born out of my struggle to find unisex clothing for my firstborn. I’ve never wanted to dress my children in pink or blue, but then I also wanted something more than just white basic clothing. I began designing outfits for my firstborn that merged Asian and Scandinavian design and thought that other parents and children may enjoy them as well. My sons also have Carribean roots and it was important for me to create something that would make them feel free and comfortable, and which would also inspire them to be who they are and express themselves without the world telling them what to be or how to dress.
I also realised as a first-time mum that they grow so quickly and I barely get to use some of their garments. Therefore, my goal was to create practical, quality, and sustainable garments in which they could grow and use for a longer period of time, and hopefully pass on to a sibling regardless of sex - or even hand down to the next generation to promote the idea of 'use more, buy less'. This is also why we don’t do seasonal collections. We don’t feel compelled to push the 'newest' on parents and children, but rather focus on creating pieces with a timeless design that can be enjoyed now and for the next coming generations as well to limit the throw-away mentality.
Yumma, in other words, is where I can release my creative ideas and love for motherhood. It’s a place where my children are my biggest inspirational source and where I try to push for a better and greener world by focusing on ethical and sustainable fashion, while also promoting and reflecting the importance of diversity. It’s a place I get to have fun and define motherhood for myself.
How have you found the postpartum period this second time around, and is there anything you’re doing differently from your first pregnancy?
I was very lucky as both of my pregnancies were beautiful and I believe I was able to remain balanced and focus my energies the way I wanted, not only while carrying them, but also after they were born. I understand that having a low risk pregnancy is such a blessing and privilege, and I therefore had no limitations as to what I could or couldn’t do, which meant I could continue my days as normal. This helped me mentally and physically.
I’d say the one thing that stood out for me during my second pregnancy was that I’d written down a birth plan, and after having had my first birth experience, I had a clearer vision of what I wanted for this second one. It might sound strange to not have had anything written down the first time around as that’s often the time one is overly prepared, however, I didn't want to have expectations and then be let down. This also meant that I put my whole experience in the hands of the hospital and midwives without owning it - and that’s exactly what happened. I felt like I lost presence and control during the first birth, rather than being at one with it and fully living the experience for myself. Therefore, during this second pregnancy, I learned from a doula, who is a mother herself. She inspired me to sit down and think about what I wanted from this birth and why. It sounds very simple, but this honestly changed my entire experience. I expressed to my partner what I wanted to happen and what I didn’t want to happen, which made her more confident in knowing how to best support me.
“I found my own voice during my second birth and therefore, enjoyed every single second of labour because I trusted myself and my body this time around. ”
I must admit that adjusting to our family now being four has been less overwhelming for me than adjusting to a family of three, because I had more confidence this second time around and an idea of what to expect. When I returned home from hospital after giving birth to my newborn son, I realised that I’d never changed a nappy before. My world truly felt like it was turned upside down in so many ways the first time around, especially regarding my physical space. I absolutely love breastfeeding, but getting used to 'sacrificing' my body and constantly having someone on me took some time to adjust to. However, knowing what I know now I have a different perspective on breastfeeding, and this second time, I’m able to accept and welcome the change with open arms, and perhaps enjoy it more without worrying and questioning who I am all the time.
“I’m able to accept and welcome the change [this second time] with open arms, and perhaps enjoy it more without worrying and questioning who I am all the time.”
I don't have that feeling of being torn between two worlds or two 'mes' as I now feel like I’ve grown into the person I was meant to become and the mother that I’m still becoming. Before, I was still holding on to the idea of the old me, and at the same time figuring out this whole new identity of being a mother which often let me feeling quite hopeless, lost, and as if I couldn’t exist as I used to in this life I’d now created for myself - rather than knowing that I can beautifully exist in several forms at the same time and not have to conform to one thing or idea.
I'm only six weeks postpartum with my second child and still adjusting of course, but I feel as if I’m moving around with less guilt and without the pressure to 'get back to what was' - not to mention allowing myself more time to heal, grow, and blossom. I’m just being kinder and more understanding to myself this time around and also, I’m committed to carving out more 'me-time' to practice self-care so that I can more intentionally grow as a person alongside my little ones.
If you could share one piece of advice about motherhood, what would it be?
To let go of expectations you have of yourself mentally and physically to ‘get back to normal’. We're pregnant for nine months to prepare for this huge change, but truth is it takes much longer than that to adjust and that's okay - embrace all of the journey from the part where you discover what lack of sleep does to you, to the tremendous feeling of unconditional love that fills your whole existence a minute after. It took me over 20 years to become the person I was before becoming a mother, so why do I put so much pressure on myself to try to adjust to my new role as quickly as possible or within the time of maternity leave? I wish someone had told me that it can take years to heal and build your new sense of self. My wish is for mothers to embrace it all. It took me almost three years to feel somewhat whole again mentally, physically and spiritually, and looking back now, oh, how I’ve changed for the better in times I thought I’d failed myself or others. It was all growth!
My advice would be to remember how long it took you to become the person you were before motherhood and allow yourself the same amount of time to become the mother you want to be and a better version of yourself. I believe it took quite some time for us to adjust through our teen years, and many of us are still finding ourselves in our 20s and 30s. You might therefore spend your whole motherhood journey adjusting and that's okay - to me that's how it should be anyway.
Our little creatures force us to look at the world differently and challenge us almost every day. There's always a new stage and there’s peace in accepting that rather than trying to rush through the difficult parts and forgetting ourselves along the way. We might not see it right away, but we’re constantly evolving and growing just like our children and there’s so much beauty in that. It’s almost like we get a second chance to start over and do life right: to do it our way for ourselves and our children without the world telling you how it’s done. And that’s exactly what I’ll do this second time around.
Last but not least, remember we need to rest too. Rest is so important and should always be on your to-do list. Never feel guilty of that. When you rest, you recharge, collect yourself, heal, and grow. Resting might sometimes be the most productive thing you can do for yourself and others.
Pregnancy
What type of prenatal care do you receive throughout your pregnancy in the UK?
I was a part of a new ‘test’ at the NHS hospital due to having a low risk pregnancy and was supervised by a small team of midwives at the birth centre, rather than the general maternity unit. They followed me throughout my entire pregnancy, leaving me a greater chance to have a familiar face deliver my baby. Apparently, they used to run pregnancies like this, but it can be challenging having one team follow a patient all the way through a pregnancy and so that’s slowly changed. I believe it’s such a safe way to truly supervise a mother every single step of the way during her pregnancy.
I generally had less check-ups during the second pregnancy as everything went well the first time around and the baby is healthy. Due to COVID, I didn’t see my GP during my pregnancy, other than when I had to come in and register my pregnancy at the very beginning.
Are scans/ultrasounds readily available, and how often do you have them during pregnancy?
Yes, I had two scans, one at 12 and the other at 20 weeks. If any further testing is required, then they’d make additional scans available, or one would have to pay for private scans.
What are the attitudes towards pregnant women? Do you receive any special ‘care’?
My experience has been that people are generally helpful, kind, and understanding towards pregnant women, especially at work. They take health and safety measures quite seriously which is good, and will often allow some flexibility around your working hours and workload if needed. That, of course, is very helpful to know that employers care about your health and wish to keep you safe.
However, on a different note, living in a busy capital such as London, you do occasionally meet people who won’t give up their seat for you on public transport, or you’ll catch someone giving you looks when breastfeeding in public because it makes them uncomfortable. I feed my energy to that.
I’m concerned about the rate at which black women and mothers are dying during birth compared with white women. In the UK, there’s definitely an embedded attitude that black women are strong or worth less, whether that’s conscious or not, and our systematic structure fails black women and allows them to be treated with less care. I don’t remember having had one black midwife present during any of my pregnancies and with my partner being of something-decent and my children part-??? representation is so important, especially during such a vulnerable time in your life. If you look at it like this, then yes, I directly and indirectly received special care compared to how another black mother - my wife, for example - might have been treated by the public health system currently in place.
Is there any attention given to preparing women both physically and psychologically for birth?
Yes, the NHS does offer antenatal classes and leaflets with information about local courses. However, true support I believe often comes from your family or circle of friends. They’re the one who are most likely to truly care about your physical and mental health.
Are there any foods pregnant women are recommended to avoid during pregnancy?
Yes, we often receive a printed booklet about what we should eat and what we should avoid. It’s quite detailed and contains what I perceive to be quite regular recommendations, such as raw seafood, certain types of fats and salty food, non-cured meat and unpasteurised dairy. We’re encouraged to eat a varied, healthy diet and to consume a lot of vegetables.
Birth
What are the attitudes towards birth in the UK?
Relaxed.
Can you share a little about your birth experiences?
The first birth lasted much longer than my second - 43 hours vs six hours. I lived right near the hospital both times, but we had to drive the second time due to the contractions being much more intense, much quicker. Due to barely sleeping, eating, and dehydration, I needed help with my firstborn as I barely had any energy left to push. I feel like they had used all that was possible to use on me and I felt very uncomfortable. I was nervous and tired and trusted them completely, although looking back at it, I’m thinking that the reason for this was because I didn't trust myself. I was uncomfortable with all the different types of equipment being used, and I felt as if my body were doing something wrong with all the assistance that I needed.
The first time they sent me back home. Then I came back and they said it should only be a few hours left now, of course thinking that they knew best. I was so disappointed and mentally not prepared when after six more hours of labour I hadn’t dilated even one centimetre more. I was stuck at four cm for what felt like an eternity, and from there it became quite uncomfortable, with two to three monitors around my belly, a drip (in which they broke a vein in my right hand and then had to insert it again in the left). I had gas and air, which made me nauseous and resulted in vomiting non-stop. I decided to take an epidural (which also took two attempts) and when pushing, they made the call to use a suction cup. I just closed my eyes at this point (41-42 hours in), trying to disconnect from it all, which didn’t really help. I always felt safe - I just wish I had more control of what was going on.
The second time I had a water pool (I didn’t have a room with that option the first time) and only used gas and air. I felt so much more calm, confident, and connected to my body. I had to mentally get to that place and had been trying to manifest peace and control. I again tried to have no expectations, but I knew what I wanted and didn’t want (which I’d written down in a birth plan), and that alone made me feel that I was owning my birth and could mentally and physically try to stick to my plan. I knew I had a voice if I needed to use it. I didn’t try to escape the situation, if anything I tried to be as present as possible and wanted to feel everything - and I did. I trusted my body through every second of that experience and loved every bit of it. My wife was watching and saw all of it; I almost wished that somebody had filmed or that a mirror was held so that I could see the little one enter the world as it was happening. Maybe next time (if there is a next time), I’ll be even braver, although I already felt like a dragon.
We should all be so proud of ourselves - no matter what the experience was like. We devote our bodies to grow and feed our little ones and we dive into birth experiencing pain like no other and committing ourselves to do something we’ve never done before, with little to no experience. It’s so natural, but at the same time, it almost seems like an extreme sport. We’re tough as hell - don’t let anybody tell you otherwise, and always remember that whenever you might be feeling low in your fourth trimester, whether just at home alone with your little one and feeling like you haven’t achieved much that day, or don’t have the energy to do laundry, remember that you’re a champion and that all of us are on the sideline cheering you on! We might not see each other, but we’re all rooting for each other.
“We’re tough as hell - don’t let anybody tell you otherwise, and always remember that whenever you might be feeling low in your fourth trimester, whether just at home alone with your little one and feeling like you haven’t achieved much that day, or don’t have the energy to do laundry, remember that you’re a champion and that all of us are on the sideline cheering you on! We might not see each other, but we’re all rooting for each other. ”
Are doulas available to help support your birth and/or postpartum in the UK?
Yes, although my GP or midwife never mentioned this or asked if I was interested. I kind of just stumbled over it myself and did a little research about it during my first pregnancy due to following another mother on social media who’s also a doula (@leatamae). Her page and wisdom inspired me from a distance, so I can only imagine how helpful and powerful a doula’s support and guidance can be when physically present, especially for first time mothers, not to mention during the fourth trimester.
How long do you stay in the hospital following birth?
At least 24 hours, normally no more than 48 hours if everything is well with baby and breastfeeding has gone well. If there are any complications, then further testing will be done and your additional stay depends on the individual's circumstances and how busy the pedetritations/labs are.
Are there any recommended ways to support physical healing of the body following birth?
Not that I’m aware of. You might be given some tips if you tear and be told how to handle that when you go to the bathroom, for example, but I wasn’t given extensive healing recommendations. Although they of course mentioned that I should do pelvic exercises. I wish I’d known more about vaginal healing, what happens physically when I breastfeed, and more along those lines. Those who have had a cesarean might have had a different experience and more of a physical recovery plan?
My view is that this support can improve in so many ways, as we’re often left to do our own research as the medical team(s) are often overloaded with patients. As a result, we become one of many which can be dangerous - especially since our bodies/experiences/circumstances can be so different throughout pregnancy and after birth.
What type of appointments typically follow birth and are these in-home or out-of-home visits?
We have two visits at the hospital with the midwives after birth, the first one at five days. We then have health visitors who take over and who normally visit you at home (this takes place at two weeks and then again at around five weeks). I also had a call with my GP once the birth had been registered with them - she called to check in on me although I presume this would have happened at the office if it wasn’t during COVID. Furthermore, I had a check-up at the doctor’s six weeks postpartum and my son has a last check-up at eight weeks.
What were the most important things in aiding your postpartum recovery, both physically and emotionally?
My partner and wife. Just knowing that she was there with me, going through it with me - sharing all of those moments together. Being sleep-deprived together. Finding those small moments to laugh about it all - together - when it gets too much. I was raised by a single mother and I have no idea how she did it. My mother is truly the strongest person I know. Because my mother has suffered from mental illness, I’ve always tried so hard to work with myself; connect with my feelings and try to physically and mentally feel at peace. In that sense, she’s in many ways given me the greatest gift of being aware of my own weaknesses and strength, and inspired me to be my own biggest support physically and mentally, which really helps. Of course it’s wonderful to lean on someone, but it’s such comfort knowing that I can lean on myself sometimes too - just centre myself and find that inner voice that tells me everything will be okay.
Physical healing is important, but since I recovered quite quickly (both times) my emotional state became my focus and still is. Eight weeks in, I’m trying to recover from the lack of sleep - both current and what’s yet to come! I try to remind myself that they won’t stay this small and that we’ll one day miss this beautiful chaos… and that each stage is unique and special, and accepting that it will be physically and mentally challenging at times. I also try to remember that each time might be the last time I hold them like this, or the last time they’ll need me like this, and therefore try to appreciate it when it all gets a little too overwhelming. Of course, sometimes I want to rip my hair out, but I try to circle back to my centre and inner peace when I can and remember that I wanted this and I’m blessed to have it - welcoming it all.
“ I try to remind myself that they won’t stay this small and that we’ll one day miss this beautiful chaos… and that each stage is unique and special, and accepting that it will be physically and mentally challenging at times.”
And of course, try to remember to ask for help when needed. I’m very lucky to have a supportive wife and partner, not to mention very loving and helpful grandparents.. My mother-in-law lives only 15 minutes away and has been of great help. My parents have also flown over several times, although this has of course been more difficult for them the second time around because of the pandemic. I still Facetime them every day. Family has always been so important to me, I know they’re there,and always so happy for me, and how much they love their grandchildren. That support is golden and helps more than they know. Knowing they’rementally holding me in and keeping us in their prayers fills me with strength and joy.
Postpartum
Is there any support for mother and baby during the ‘fourth trimester’?
My midwives told me to call them if there were any concerns at all. They were wonderful. Furthermore, there are several NHS and other free groups and classes to attend, for example, breastfeeding. Hopefully, once the mother has had their standard six weeks check-up at the local doctor’s, the GP would be able to recommend further support to the mother, if needed. However, I feel the real support is with your family and the network of mums you’re able to build in your local area, although that’s not always easy.
Are there any ‘new mother’ groups you can join, and did you join any?
Yes, at least for first-time mothers, but I didn’t join any because I was attending university the first time around, and the second time I’d already established my little network. In Norway, however, you’re automatically assigned a group and are encouraged to meet up shortly after birth. I wish we had that here in the UK as well,as I think it helps a lot, especially if you met that group during pregnancy it’s easier to reconnect after birth than spending energy on trying to find someone in your local area by attending a group that you’re not really too interested in.
What’s the culture around taking newborns out in public?
I’ve honestly never thought about this. I’ve been quite relaxed with it and had no problem taking my little ones out in the early weeks, just because I’m quite restless and need fresh air. There’s quite a ‘mum and coffee shop’ culture both here in London and in Oslo, so it’s very popular to meet up in public, whether in the park or at a local coffee shop.
Do you wait a certain period before taking the baby out into public spaces?
With my second son yes, due to the pandemic. I waited over a week this time and I’m trying to stay local when I go out and not travel during any rush hours if possible - although that’s a little difficult when doing the school run and picking up my three year old from nursery.
Is there government-supported maternity or paternity leave? And if so, for how long?
Yes, there’s 39 weeks paid maternity leave, and up to 52 weeks entitled leave if wanted. Paternity leave is two-three weeks if I remember correctly. In Norway, I believe fathers or the other parent can take up to three months, but the parents would have to split the nine months between them as they like. I’m actually not sure if you can do that here in the UK as that’s never really been a question for us.
Who typically cares for the baby during the newborn stage?
Generally the mother. That’s also how my partner and I grew up, mainly having our mothers do everything for us. We’ve both watched how gender roles have changed, and in Norway, it’s becoming very normal that the dads help out as much as possible. It’s beautiful watching the other parent becoming more involved and I’m so happy that my wife has that strong mother instinct as well and truly wants to connect with her children in the early days and weeks. Our children lean on the both of us, and I didn’t have that my first five years on Earth, so it’s very special to be able to give that to our sons. We care for and raise them very equally between us, however, I definitely have the main responsibility as I’m at home, and because I choose to breastfeed I do most of the night shift as well - unless our three year old wakes up from a nightmare or wants an extra cuddle, then I normally push my partner out of bed!
Can you speak at all to the culture around newborn sleep in the UK (particularly expectations for sleeping through the night, self soothing, etc.)?
I believe we understand it’s all different and there’s no one way to do this. Babies are so unpredictable and it takes time to get into a routine. Plus breastfeeding can be really difficult, or because we breastfeed, they like to wake up more often just for extra comfort (or won’t sleep without it!).
Because we don’t really use pacifiers in Thailand, I felt strongly that we’d be able to do without it, and we were so happy that we made that decision - although my partner definitely tried to use one in secret on more than one occasion! Luckily, the little one didn’t care for it, which made the decision even easier. Our firstborn slept through after nine months, after I’d already spent three months slowly weaning him off the boob in the night and letting him self-soothe so that my partner could help with the bed routine (especially since we were getting so close to my final law exams - I’d some nights just stay awake and prepare, so I needed the little one to wake up less). I did a lot of research, but only did what felt okay for us and it took a lot of time and dedication; we often took shifts right outside the bedroom and slowly it worked. Sometimes we’d fall asleep in their bedroom too! They’re honestly much smarter and more aware than we think, but of course, there’s no rush with this. I loved co-sleeping and maybe I’ll do it even longer this time (we’ll see!). At some point, they also tend to come back to bed with us when they can walk out of their bed and knock on ours - I love that too!
Breastfeeding
Did you/are you currently breastfeeding your children?
Yes, both of them and I love it! Such a beautiful way to bond.
Do you think breastfeeding in public is socially accepted in your country?
Yes, at most times. I’ve felt comfortable and safe breastfeeding in public.
Who would you turn to for breastfeeding support?
My midwives, during the first few weeks, but it all went so smoothly both times I luckily didn’t need much assistance. I’ve had this conversation with many friends and know that they often wish they had more support after they were discharged from the hospital, especially for those that struggled with latching and painful feedings. We mothers should support each other and know that the breastfeeding journey can be very different. We also need to learn not to judge if we see a bottled-fed baby as there can definitely be a sense of judgement if one doesn’t breastfeed, or even if one is breastfeeding a toddler and continues to do so for many years or what some might consider too long. Everyone does it differently, but we can all agree that breastfeeding has many great benefits if one is able to do so.
How long do babies typically breastfeed in the UK?
It varies. I breastfed for one year with my firstborn. Now that our office is a home-based one, I might be able to do it for even longer. I know some mothers at my son’s preschool are still breastfeeding their three or four year old, but they’ve also mentioned they sometimes feel judged and really feel a sense of relief when they see another mother breastfeeding their toddler/older child. All we can do is support each other as we’re all trying our best to navigate through our journey of motherhood.
“All we can do is support each other as we’re all trying our best to navigate through our journey of motherhood. ”
United Kingdom
What’s your favourite thing about being a mother and raising children in the UK?
My dream as a young girl was to move abroad and make the most of the opportunities my mother had created for me. I love that I get to do that, while still being a mother - following my dream and growing my own family. I’ve found myself following in the footsteps of my mother in so many ways, and although we live apart, I feel even closer to her in my journey of motherhood, imagining what it must’ve been like for her moving from Thailand to Norway and raising a child there. London is such a multicultural city with so many open doors for my children and myself. There’s no one way to live life here and I love that.
Living in the UK has widened my horizons and still continues to inspire me as a person and as a mother. By living here, I hope I get to give them all that my mother gave me and more - including appreciation for cultures, being curious about life, learning several languages, and making meaningful connections with people from all over the world - all while having a place to call home.
If the world could learn one thing about how the UK approaches pregnancy, birth, & motherhood, what would it be?
There’s no ‘one way manual’ to approach this. I’ve seen with the many mothers who live here that there’s several ways to give birth, or to be a mother, and they all work beautifully. It’s wonderful how we can all learn from each other while also trusting ourselves first. The most important thing is to do what feels right for you, and I wish that for all mothers. The opportunity to have a voice, exercise their human rights, and have control over their own bodies while carving out the most beautiful life for themselves and their little ones - but I understand now more than ever before that these are all privileges, and unfortunately, not everybody has that. It’s my hope we can reach out to each other and spread kindness wherever we go. That we can support other mothers and stand up for minorities and try to better our communities, while listening to the many voices and stories from all over the world.
This is why I think The Atlas of Motherhood project is so great. Thank you, Isobel, for this opportunity and for giving women from all over the world the chance to be seen, heard, and to feel like they belong - as I’m sure many will be able to relate to the different stories being told and journeys you’re discovering.
Interview with @linesirla
